“WHEN I’M AN OLD WOMAN…”

Beverly Gift

When I am an old lady, I shall wear an outlandish purple hat loaded with plastic fruit of many kinds and colors, set off by my wig of flowing blonde hair.

Thanks to Botox and Dermabrasion, my face will seem radiant and vital in spite of my 95 years, and will boast tattooed eyebrows, rosy cheeks and passionate pink lipstick.

Ah, but my outfit! A long slender skirt in a print of fruits like the ones on my hat will set off my lush long-sleeved tunic the color of ripe grapes. The long skirt disguises legs that no longer merit exposure, but stops gracefully at my shiny purple shoes, with sensible heels being the only concession to age.

At last I’m ready for the CBTS Social Hour.

This was written in 10 minutes during a class meeting.